#MomChronicles: Life with Special Needs

I remember a time I used to hear the phrase “special needs” and immediately associated it with people who had severe disabilities. It wasn’t until my own son was classified as a child who has special needs that my entire perception changed.

A Little Background

If you are a regular reader here on my blog or you follow any of my social media; then you are aware that my middle child has ADHD and Tourette’s Syndrome. This has created some significant challenges for him both in his home and school life as well as his social life.

Reality Check

The combinations of both these disorders has made for quite a wild ride for all of us. As a parent, before you understand your child has a diagnosis; you are probably trying to operate on one last nerve! There is so much to learn about your child, how their brain processes, and then developing a new way to interact with your child.

We’ve had to really scrap our parenting style to accommodate his limitations. It’s not as easy as it sounds because after reminding him of something for the millionth time you find yourself saying “what do you not get?!!”  And then you have to stop and remind yourself; he can’t help it. What do I mean by that? Keep reading.

There’s More to It then You Know

I always assumed ADHD was just a child being hyperactive but it’s not. How he processes instructions, his memory, his ability to retain information short term, his ability to focus, multitask or stay organized are all a part of the big picture.

With his tics, he can’t control them and when he feels agitated, flustered, frustrated, anxious, sad or excited; it can ramp them up to 100!

Combine his awareness of his ADHD and his tics you can only imagine the amount of anxiety a kid like him might feel. He’s painfully aware of his differences from the other children, the stares people give him when he fidgets and tics. This basic awareness is enough to trigger his anxiety which in turn exacerbates his symptoms.

Do you follow me?

What its Been Like

These challenges have made school an uphill battle these last two years. Between the ages of 9 and 13 the symptoms of both of these disorders tend to manifest in boys at their peak. So while he used to be different just a couple of years ago; we’ve seen a dip in his grades and it has been hard as a mama to watch.

We’ve had to employ new methods to ensure that he is bringing class assignments and homework home. This has required extensive communication with his teachers, meetings at the school, and ensuring he as a 504 Plan to protect his rights.

We’ve put him in behavioral therapy because we felt it would be good for him to have an accountability partner that wasn’t so close to home. He’s able to go and express his thoughts and feelings and be taught new ways to accomplish what most of us would deem simple things.

We’ve begun using reminder cards which we’ve strategically placed around the house which serve as a way to get him to double check his responsibilities for the day. We now have a routine of me going through his book bag and folders; sifting through every nook and cranny to make sure he has all that he needs and get rid of all that he doesn’t. This helps reduce the clutter and chaos.

The Truth

All of this is tedious, time consuming and really exhausting at the end of the day. But it’s absolutely worth it. Especially when we’re beginning to see signs of improvement. The reality is that this part of the job is going to be constant redirection all the time until he either outgrows it or is old enough to manage it on his own.

As parents, you will be tired and overworked and want to curse everything at times. This even more so if you have other children because you have to still make time for them. And we definitely have 2 more children.

You will have days where you feel awful for feeling how you feel, and I’m here to tell you that’s ok. You’re entitled to whatever feelings. But at the end of the day, when your child needs you?

You show up and you show out no matter what.

AP Young signature with kiss print.



9 thoughts on “#MomChronicles: Life with Special Needs

Add yours

  1. I applaud you for your efforts in helping your son with his diagnosis. I too, have a 12 year old who was diagnosed around 8 and it has like you said been an uphill battle. Thank you for reminding me to be gentle with my son when I ask him something for the millionth time…ugh! So frustrating, but I know he can’t help it. Thanks for sharing your story. I pray you continue to love on him and remind him that his life has purpose.


    1. Thank you luv! Remember to love on yourself too. It is a journey for ALL parties involved. Our children are gifted and just process life differently. It’s exhausting but we’ve got this mama!


  2. Awe girl I immediately clicked on this because the special needs title drew me in. Why? Because I had an older brother (who has passed away now) but he had cerebral palsy. I love all things special needs and I work with a child who has autism. I understand at times patience runs thin but you’re right we are ok to feel as we do. I’m not a mother yet but growing up with a brother who had a severe disability helped give me a heart for those who are disabled. You are An amazing mom from what I can see and I love that you’re giving advice to those mommas who maybe in this same situation😁

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for reading! I’m so sorry for your loss. I grew up with an uncle who had Downs Syndrome (he passed away some years ago) but that experience really shaped my view of how people with special needs are treated. it’s even helped me learn how to govern myself with my own son. They may have special needs but its special powers to be able to teach us a thing or two about life!


  3. Hi, great post. I have a child who sounds similar to your son. He has autism and adhd with tics and I know how hard it is for them and for us as parents as there’s so always much to worry about. Thanks for sharing, sounds like he has a great Mum!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you! I honestly feel like this journey pulls something out of us because of the special supports they need. We have to unlearn old ways and try new things and that isn’t such a bad thing. I hope you and your child are finding support on your journey and my door is always open if you ever want to chat about your experience!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. My son has a different syndrome but I can definitely relate. As parents we are constantly learning about our child, in addition to finding out how strong we are. Keep up the good work and thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Website Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: